My first entry

Ok so nobody is going to read this and that's ok. I just wanted an outlet to express who I am and what my life is all about. I am 36 (almost 37) going on 22 and the mother of a crazy little boy. I have been married for 5 years, been together for almost 9. I live in CT but have had a crazy life growing up in both Minnesota and Montana. There is SOOOO much in between then and now that has shaped who I am I wouldn't even know where to start. One day I'll start a post on the events that happened that brought me here today.

I am home laid up with a bum foot, having had foot surgery last week to remove a bunion. It is forced rest and something that I don't ever do - and that is take care of myself. I have few friends but those that I do have I cherish. I've come a long way in my life from being this doormat that took whatever people gave me because it was attention to only accepting people in my life who are good for me. I started to put into relationships what I was getting out of them after my son was born for the simple reason, I just didn't have time to be the first person to call, to send an email or to say I'm sorry. I have lost a few friends along the way and that's OK with me. I have spent too much of my life apologizing for wrongdoings that quite frankly, were never wrong. I am finally at a point in my life where I feel like I can stand my ground and state how I feel and that's OK. I guess that call that growing up? Right.

So my son is my life. I feel guilty about being a working mom but in my heart I know that I could never stay home full time. I need outlets for my energy and people to interact with. I don't know enough moms who do stay at home that I would feel fulfilled. I am not saying stay at home moms are better or worse - it just isn't for me. The time I do spend with Elijah is spent loving and nurturing him. I give him everything he needs and he knows how loved he is. I want him growing up with a mom who could work and still be there for him when he needs me. So far, I think I've done a pretty good job.

My hubby Chris and I are total opposites. He's laid back, easy going where I am the planner and the organizer. I am also a bit high strung which is good for us because he and I bring each other down (or up!) as the case may be. Opposites do attract - 9 years and he still cracks me up and makes me feel special.

That's probably enough rambling for now. I started this blog to keep folks posted on Elijah and our life since I don't have time always to reach out to everyone personally as much as I would like.